I was shocked to see how long it is since I posted here. Part of the reason is that I have been feeling so well. I suppose I was almost afraid to jinx it by writing about it. Stupid huh?
I am still in a certain amount of pain every day. I don't suppose that will change now. But I have been able to do so much recently and I want to make the most of it. During a recent trip to Bath I was able to walk further than I thought possible. It still hurt at times but the pain was manageable. I did however have to pace myself and take regular breaks to sit down. On several days the trudge back to the hotel in the evening was a bit grim. Another thing that I will have to accept is that my energy levels will never be back to where they were four years ago.
OH is infinitely patient with me as always. He is very energetic and it must be frustrating walking with me sometimes as I just can't keep up with him. He now moderates his pace and will offer me his hand or arm when I am really struggling.
I continue to take ginger and it seems to be helping me. I have a cup of ginger tea every morning with my breakfast and I have a very small piece of crystalised ginger in the evening. It might be the placebo effect but to be frank I really don't care if I feel better!
Being realistic I know that I will have another flare up at some point, but I don't want to dwell on that. So that is how I am going to leave it for now, enjoying the sudden spell of warm weather, feeling better than I have for several years and hopeful for the future.
Saturday 11 August 2012
Monday 9 April 2012
Self belief
I haven't posted for quite a long time. That is due to a number of things. Life has been very busy and it has taken all my energy just to get through the day. I honestly haven't felt like writing.
I have had a couple of flair ups since Christmas and I am in the middle of one at the moment. I had arranged to go to the Vintage Fair in Boscombe on Saturday with two friends, At 3 am on Saturday morning I was woken by a pain in my hip and knee. The pain continued to get worse as the day progressed and by 3 pm it was agonising and very difficult for me to walk. With regret I left my friends to carry on browsing the vintage shops and had to return home. 6 months ago I would have been very upset and it would have completely ruined my day. Now, I have come to accept that this will sometimes happen. I try to take it in my stride and get as much enjoyment out of things as I can. It did cross my mind to call my friends and cancel but I decided to go ahead. My only worry is that I was being selfish and may have spoilt things for them.
Having more or less come to terms with the physical symptoms of my illness I am now struggling with some of the psychological aspects. The major one at the moment is my appearance and self confidence. I am stuck in a rut at the moment and I am resolved to get myself out of it. I rarely wear skirts anymore as I am self conscious. Sometimes my left ankle and left knee swell up to twice their normal size. OH tells me I should wear skirts and dresses anyway and not to worry about what other people think. Easier said than done!
The combination of age related changes and those brought about by my illness have made shopping for clothes a thoroughly depressing business. My two friends have recently started sewing. I have sewn since I was a small child. My Mother is a very talented dressmaker. When I was in my 20s and 30s I used to make a lot of clothes for myself. But I haven't done much dressmaking for the last 15 years or so. Now, watching my friends enjoyment of dressmaking has encouraged me to start again. I am hoping that will enable me to get out of my current rut. I will record my progress in my other blog 'A beader's life'.
I have had a couple of flair ups since Christmas and I am in the middle of one at the moment. I had arranged to go to the Vintage Fair in Boscombe on Saturday with two friends, At 3 am on Saturday morning I was woken by a pain in my hip and knee. The pain continued to get worse as the day progressed and by 3 pm it was agonising and very difficult for me to walk. With regret I left my friends to carry on browsing the vintage shops and had to return home. 6 months ago I would have been very upset and it would have completely ruined my day. Now, I have come to accept that this will sometimes happen. I try to take it in my stride and get as much enjoyment out of things as I can. It did cross my mind to call my friends and cancel but I decided to go ahead. My only worry is that I was being selfish and may have spoilt things for them.
Having more or less come to terms with the physical symptoms of my illness I am now struggling with some of the psychological aspects. The major one at the moment is my appearance and self confidence. I am stuck in a rut at the moment and I am resolved to get myself out of it. I rarely wear skirts anymore as I am self conscious. Sometimes my left ankle and left knee swell up to twice their normal size. OH tells me I should wear skirts and dresses anyway and not to worry about what other people think. Easier said than done!
The combination of age related changes and those brought about by my illness have made shopping for clothes a thoroughly depressing business. My two friends have recently started sewing. I have sewn since I was a small child. My Mother is a very talented dressmaker. When I was in my 20s and 30s I used to make a lot of clothes for myself. But I haven't done much dressmaking for the last 15 years or so. Now, watching my friends enjoyment of dressmaking has encouraged me to start again. I am hoping that will enable me to get out of my current rut. I will record my progress in my other blog 'A beader's life'.
Tuesday 3 January 2012
January
I normally really hate the period immediately after Christmas. Spring always seems very far away and the weather is usually foul. Well, this year is an exception. I was lucky enough to have two weeks off over Christmas and I returned to work today feeling refreshed and ready for most things. However, the weather was indeed vile. We had 80 mile an hour winds along the south coast of England this morning coupled with heavy rain. On my journey to work I was forced to cling onto railings and bus stops in an attempt to remain on my feet on several occasions. It was exhilirating and scary at the same time. One of the joys of living by the sea!
On the arthritis front things have been mixed over Christmas. I have had good days and quite a few bad ones. My back has been very painful. The pain is with me constantly at the moment in varying degrees. It frequently wakes me in the middle of the night. This is different to a normal flare up. They usually respond to anti-inflamatories quite quickly. My back doesn't seem to be responding well to the Naproxen at the moment, which is a bit worrying. If it continues I will have to make an appoinment with my GP. One thing that is stopping me is that I will probably get referred back to my Rheumatologist. That will mean more tests, probably including an MRI scan. I dread scans as they completely terrify me. I suffer from claustrophobia and just the thought of being in that narrow metal tube makes me break out in a cold sweat. I made a complete idiot of myself during my last one by having a panic attack. If I have to have another scan then I will ask my GP to prescibe something to clam me down.
For the next few days I will try some other natural anti-inflamatories such as ginger. I will let you know how things prgress.
On the arthritis front things have been mixed over Christmas. I have had good days and quite a few bad ones. My back has been very painful. The pain is with me constantly at the moment in varying degrees. It frequently wakes me in the middle of the night. This is different to a normal flare up. They usually respond to anti-inflamatories quite quickly. My back doesn't seem to be responding well to the Naproxen at the moment, which is a bit worrying. If it continues I will have to make an appoinment with my GP. One thing that is stopping me is that I will probably get referred back to my Rheumatologist. That will mean more tests, probably including an MRI scan. I dread scans as they completely terrify me. I suffer from claustrophobia and just the thought of being in that narrow metal tube makes me break out in a cold sweat. I made a complete idiot of myself during my last one by having a panic attack. If I have to have another scan then I will ask my GP to prescibe something to clam me down.
For the next few days I will try some other natural anti-inflamatories such as ginger. I will let you know how things prgress.
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